My typical day part 2: I am late
Continuing my long typical day, after the first hours of the morning, I hand him 2 pills before food (Faby and I call them the “magic” pills) The magic pills are, Lexapro, an antidepressant and Nuedexta for agitation. Before he started taking these two pills, he would get very agitated and try to ask Faby to leave or disagree with absolutely everything. He didn’t want to go out, didn’t cooperate at all. He would ask why and shout you are an idiot! Sometimes he would get really angry and it was scary and very unlike him.Thank heavens for these pills!
Rick asks me every time he has to take the pills “what should I do?” I say “put those pills in your mouth and drink the water” sometimes he can’t understand so I pretend that I am taking the pills and mimic what he is supposed to do. Many times he will put the glass of water down on the counter or table and hold the pills in his mouth not knowing what to do. One time Faby, his caregiver said he faced her and didn’t want to take his after lunch pills and spit all 12 of his after lunch pills into the full glass of water looking at her in confrontation. What do I say to her? It’s ok. Forget it, right?
By this time it’s about 7:15 AM and I set him up on the bed to watch a little TV and put his coffee mug on the nightstand so that I can take a shower, dry my hair, put on my makeup and figure out what to wear to work. It’s now 7:45 AM, and as usual I am running behind. I need to do everything for myself so fast. After I’m ready, we go into the kitchen and I make breakfast, normally some scrambled pasture raised organic eggs and low carb vegetables, like spinach or kale. We try to keep him as healthy as possible so I am very rigid about his diet. No sugar, no carbs or little to no carbs and protein. Dr. Dale Bredesen has had some success with his book The End of Alzheimer’s and I have followed his program called MEND for some time although it hasn’t worked as well as we would like. Dr. Bredesen does have some success stories. One woman reversed her Alzheimer’s. She and her family are lucky. I wish that this would have worked for us.
Hi Renee, I am from St. Paul, Minnesota, also married to a musician (drummer). We graduated from high school together but didn’t connect until 32 years after graduation. We married when we were 50 and have now been husband and wife for seven years.
I ordered the book last month and read it over a weekend. I will treasure the book forever and read it again and again. The book, I want you to know, is unputdownable–truly, really well-written and honest and superb in every way. I was a journalist and copywriter before the work dried up. One of my editors told me my job, when I was writing a feature about someone, was to give the reader a nice sense of who the person is. Shannon did that. You did that. Rick did it, too. And I am grateful to all of you for sharing such a complete and detailed story about every aspect of his life.
I am so sorry that you and Rick suffered as you did during his final years. My wish for you is that you can carve out some peace for yourself. Your road was rough and likely still is–first dealing for years with uncertainty and then the upheaval related to Rick changing, and now with his loss.
While I can’t relate in any way to your situation, I do have some idea of your struggle, as my best friend for 50 years is dealing with her dad’s Alzheimer’s. He was a confident, successful, conversant and proud businessman, a man of knowledge. Now, when I see him, or take him on walks, while he is still a gentleman and a sweetheart, there is not much–nothing, actually– to talk about. He has disappeared. There is no coming back. It is maddening, tragic, exhausting.
I am on Facebook under Catherine Condon McGown if you would like to connect, or certainly you can email me, too, at catonahottinroof@gmail.com. While my husband and I are younger than Rick, we ares omewhat familiar with the old 1970s Minneapolis music scene, especially the bars over by the University where Rick performed, and we live about 20 minutes from Richfield. If you’d ever like to visit here, please do! We would be happy to host you–it would be an honor.
Love and peace,
Cathy Condon McGown