I need to fix him

For the first couple of years I was really determined to fix him. Everyone thought that I was in denial. We tried:

– homeopathic supplements

– organic diet

-lots of exercise

-ketogenic diet

It was working for a while. He passed the MMSE (Mini Mental State Exam) with a 28 out of 30 but then in March of 2016 he had a brain bleed and that set us back tremendously. It was horrible! I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? After this huge setback, I decided we should began writing his memoir to preserve his memories and include all the incredible songs and lyrics that he has written.

After that, I am forced to be very patient and loving and basically I have lost the love of my life. Well, his body is here but is his brain still here? No. I miss him.

It is very hard to face what is going to become of us and I really do not know if I can withstand it but I’m going to try. I’m waiting for Israel to come up with a cure. I keep saying I need a miracle. When will something good come?

I get really happy for small remembrances and when he reads something correct. I love it when he corrects Faby, his caregiver, if she sings the wrong song lyrics. I know that I sound like a bit of a downer right now but I have reason. I need to get it off my chest. Sometimes I can be very funny about things. That’s how I hope this blog is going to go; some days funny, some days sad.

I hope we can get through this together as my father used to say about himself to deal with my mother and all of her illnesses he was made of Iron well I think I am a lot like him so I must be made of Iron too.

I keep researching everyday for every clinical trial that we could try but he needs to pass MMSE or MMSE2 and now he just gets 1 out of 30. The score he gets is what’s his name? Frederick Moore. What day is today? He doesn’t know. When is your birthday? Sometimes he answers and others he doesn’t. None of the trials will accept him because he’s too far gone or we cannot risk a micro bleed from blood thinning. Why does he need to pass this test? I hate this test. I am so desperate that I am willing for him to be the guinea pig! I will try anything on him! But someone please cure him!